i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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