Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Randomize
