love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
