You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
