his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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