His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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