the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
