you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
