I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
