OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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