i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
