I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
my nose is crying tears of wow.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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