you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
