He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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