You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
