I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
do herpes really smell.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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