its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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