I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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