I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
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