i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I look excited, but its just a facade.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
