That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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