Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
