I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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