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• (239): View more from Florida

  So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

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• (425): View more from Washington

  her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents

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• (315): View more from New York

  I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.

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• (530): View more from California

  I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT

  (912): View more from Georgia

  WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.

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• (619): View more from California

  Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica

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