i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
