i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
