yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
