Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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