I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
