The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
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And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
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Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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