If i come over, it means nothing
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
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