Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize