The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
