it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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