There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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