508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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