I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
