We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Did I show you my penis last night?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
