Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
