Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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