Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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