She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
