absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
