my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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