shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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