I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
