So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
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