YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
