it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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