I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
