Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
