Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
