he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
