just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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