Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
