I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
